A Memoir of My Brother

Right after Brian passed away I had a fear of forgetting him. I didn't want my memories to fade so I typed them all down as they came to mind. I also saved emails from caring friends that were sent to me in my time of need. 

This whole process made me cry. A lot. It was also healing and helped me clear my brain so that I didn't have everything at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. It took me a year to finish writing it all down because the ending was too recent and painful for me to relive. After I finished I hid it away somewhere on my hard drive, figuring that I'd know the right time to share it with my family. 

Now, almost 7 (?!) years later, I opened it up figuring that I had emotionally spewed randomness all over the pages and it would need major editing and rewriting to make it presentable. It actually only needed a couple of clarifications and a little formatting before I decided it was good enough for private family reading. Just remember that these are my personal memories and are not necessarily factual. For that reason I've decided to keep a full version for myself and an ever-so-slightly edited version for everyone else. I'm sure you'll understand.

Today being his birthday, it's a hard day for my family. But lately I have felt more at ease with the idea of sharing my writings and more of an internal push to do so than ever before. I'm offering it up to those who wish to remember along with me. It made me smile and it made me cry but it ends with Rob's talk that he gave at the funeral. It reminds me how blessed we are and how happy I am that we are an eternal family and will see Brian again. 

-Julie

PS: I'm not actually posting the paper here (it's 35 pages). Please send me a message if you'd like me to email you a copy. 

A Boy on a Hill Sometimes I’m completely blown away by...

A Boy on a Hill

Sometimes I’m completely blown away by the creativity of little kids. And often it is just a bunch of little things and sometimes those little things just seem to be too much. Sometimes I feel like saying “slow down kiddos.”

However, sometimes things are just perfect. Take this afternoon for example.

We were headed out to a park in the neighborhood for me to play soccer and for the kids to play at the playground. Just before getting in the car Nate grabbed one of those floating kick board things that can be kind of fun in a pool. Thinking that he’ll just leave the silly toy at the park I said, you should really just leave that home.

He responded, I want to use it to slide down the hill.

I thought to myself that it would never work!

The kid really proved me wrong. Pretty soon he was sliding right down that hill like a penguin. Next time I’ll keep my mouth shut. Check out these videos to see for yourself.

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Glad to be Married to a Yoga Girl Last night after my run I was...

Glad to be Married to a Yoga Girl

Last night after my run I was feeling a little sore. Unfortunately, I’m not in the habit of stretching appropriately after running and needed a little help.

Fortunately my lovely Julie is more than capable and willing to help me out despite my general lack of skill and interest in doing any form of yoga. She led me through a few stretches and I did whine and moan a little because that is what I do; however, I felt much better immediately and that feeling continued to the next day. Thanks Julie for your patience and love!

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Wonderful Exploration (By Julie) Neighbors and Friends, My...

Wonderful Exploration (By Julie)

Neighbors and Friends,

My kids are active, imaginative, and creative kin. I would never apologize for that.

I do, however, apologize that you have to look at my crazy lawn, driveway, and garage every day day this summer. Go ahead and call this the ghetto house on the corner. I would agree with you.

Here is Nate and his friend disassembling a broken printer. They have been working on it for almost 3 hours!

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Grandma Clark

Two weeks ago my grandma Clark passed away in her sleep with my dad by her side.  This is how I remember her best.

She always greeted me, even the week before she died and probably didn't remember exactly which granddaughter I was, with "Hi, Darlin'."

I have many good memories of her. Many. When we drove to her home in the Tehachapi Mountains, as soon as we passed the tree in the middle of the road, I knew we were right around the corner and I felt good. I loved the smell of the trees and sawdust and chickens. I loved the tree swing. I loved the creepy gate that led into an overgrown garden that we were warned was crawling with snakes. She also frequently reminded us of coyotes. I loved exploring with my brothers and sisters.







































My parents had been taking care of her for years. They'd given up vacations and even long day outings so that someone could always be with her. They fed her and cleaned her.  They took care of every need, both the significant and the fickle. They have been incredible examples to me, as have Rob's parents, of service beyond the expected.

Grandma was eccentric, kooky, and honest (sometimes overly). She never pretended to be someone she wasn't. The most important thing about grandma is that she loved me. And I loved her.

The funeral was beautiful. Rob put together this slideshow for the viewing. You can click on the black box below or follow the link.