Things Overheard When Trying a Female Urination Device

Pre-Ramble: If I see you in person and you skirt away from me with a sideways glance, I'll understand.

For you un-enlightened folks who have never before heard of a FUD (female urination device), it's basically a silicone funnel. Let me paint a scenario for you.

Imagine yourself as a female who likes to travel and hike. Imagine yourself also having a very overactive bladder after harboring 21 lbs of human bodies for over 2 years on top of your delicate, cushy plumbing (3 babies X 7 lbs each for 9 months X 3). Ok, I admit, that math is a little shady but is anyone actually going to argue with me about it? Didn't think so.

Add the fact that two of those three babies are girls who have gotten older, also like to hike, and have overactive bladders themselves.

Remember, you are all now too old to pull your skivvies down around your ankles and squat in the great, wide-open outdoors (or filthy indoors) every 15 minutes when nature calls or, more accurately, sirens.

You're also a fearful mom who has to hold up daughters while they hover two inches over the dirt and who, no matter how many times has practiced, inevitably gets peed on every time.

I've spared you an actual picture but it's a pretty awesome mental picture, eh?

The proposed solution to the above problems comes in the form of a product called the Go Girl. Knowing we would be doing some long hikes last week, I grabbed one when I walked passed it at Walmart ($9.99).

I took it home and nervously opened it up and watched some (non-graphic!) how-to videos. The following quotes were overheard thereafter:

--After opening the package--

"Wow. That's kinda weird."
"That's NEVER going to fit back into that tiny tube."

"You should really practice in the toilet first."


--After explaining it to my daughter and then she told my other daughter about it--

"...blank stare..."
"I am NOT going to use that!"

"Mom! {laughter} My sister told me we have to pee in this! {nervous laughter}"
"Never. Never. Never. I'm never ever going to pee in that. Ever. Never. Never."


--While Hiking--

"Do you need to pee? Wanna use the Go Girl?" "NO."
"Do you need to pee? Wanna use the Go Girl?" "NO."
"Do you need to pee? Wanna use the Go Girl?" "NO."
"Do you need to pee? Wanna use the Go Girl?" "NO."

"Come on! Just try!"
"You are too old to have your butt and privates out in the open!"

"You're lucky, dad! YOU have a built-in Go Girl!!"
"I'm just going to sit down in this freezing cold water and pee in front of everyone."

"Ok, mom. I'll try the Go Girl."
"No. Never mind! I don't want to! I don't want to!!"

"Ok....I'll try it."
"No. I can't! I can't! I can't do it! I can't do it!"

"Ok. I can't hold it any longer. I'm going to try it. No one watch. Turn the other way. Make sure no one is coming."
"Hmmm. It's working. Kind of."
"EEWWW!! No it's NOT!"
"Is someone coming??!!"
"It's not funneling fast enough!!"
"I STILL got pee on myself!"
"Why don't we have toilet paper??"
"SICK!"
"GROSS!"
"NOW what do I do with this thing?? Just shove it into the backpack?!"
"It's dripping everywhere!"
"UGH!"
"DISGUSTING!"

"You'll just need to practice again."
"NO. I don't. I can go a very long time before trying that thing again."

Verdict?
We tried. We failed. We just have to continue to hike with full bladders like civilized ladies.


PS. I'm sure we'd have more success with more practice along with carrying a ziploc baggie and baby wipes AND not waiting to use it until you have a very full bladder.

So keep those things in mind if you think you'd like to try a Go Girl.

And good luck.

An Afternoon at Temple Square

A few weeks ago we had a pretty busy but excellent weekend. On Sunday we had an early baby blessing of a new niece (Breanna’s daughter Violet) and a baptism later that afternoon (Breanna’s son Joe). It was a gorgeous day so to fill up some of our time we spent a good chunk of the day downtown at Temple Square. It was well worth it as you’ll see below.

Temple, Fuji X-T10, 1/280s, f/11, ISO 200

We started our tour at the conference center for a bathroom stop. We walked into the main room and were quickly seized upon by a missionary volunteer. People are not allowed to wander the building alone. However, she was very willing to take us exactly were we wanted. The kids wanted to see the roof.
After visiting the roof we walked across the street. The square was teaming with the vibrancy of spring life following a cold winter. Trees with new leaves, vibrant spring flowers, blue sky, and nice clouds.
I snagged this photo of the temple with my new camera as we walked into the plaza. I’m very happy with it.

Julie, Fuji X-T10, 1/70s, f/13, ISO 200

We noticed some incredible blossoms near the RS building. I wanted a portrait of Julie but was having trouble getting the light to cooperate until I noticed the huge reflector (RS building itself) on the other side of the trees. Problem solved = incredible light for Julie. Nice! She just needed to brave the eye-piercing light reflected off such a huge white wall.

Flowers, Fuji X-T10, 1/450s, f/13, ISO 200

Here is my take on the spring flowers. I let the strong and direct sunlight light the blossoms from behind and make the blooms the main feature. Everything else fell to the background. Flowers are so frequently photographed because they are truly amazing and a delight.

COPB, Fuji X-T10, 1/210s, f/11, ISO 200

The Church Office Building played a central part in our history. Julie worked there on the 14th floor for years before Nate was born. I used to take the train back from the University of Utah and study for hours in the cafeteria until Julie was done working. She’d come visit me on breaks and sometimes bring me a treat. Those were good times. I took this photo in memory of those times.

Nate, Fuji X-T10, 1/250s, f/3.2, ISO 1000

Here is Nate soaking in an exhibit demonstrating some of the methods used to cut the stone for the SLC temple. He was pretty into that.

Cara Angry, Fuji X-T10, 1/400s, f/5, ISO 1000

Here is a photo of my Cara. She would not allow me to take a photo of her all day. Finally she acquiesced to my request on the condition that she be allowed to be angry in the photo. Here is the result.

Moss and Kids, Fuji X-T10, 1/480s, f/5, ISO 1000

The kids were very into the moss around a few of the flower beds. So much so they determined to smell it and really get close to it. I was lucky to capture it.

Tabernacle in BW, Fuji X-T10, 1/300s, f/9, ISO 200, Edited in Lightroom

The Tabernacle is such a majestic building. For this shot I was trying to get a nice mix of reflections from the metal roof and a batch of nice playful clouds. I like how it worked out.
The bottom line to the story is that we had a great time on a wonderful spring afternoon at Temple Square. It is a peaceful place to wander and spend time with the family.

We're Ruined!

Rob and I visited two sets of Mayan ruins while in Mexico, Tulum and Coba. We had planned to visit another site but I wasn't up for hiking in the sun the morning after I got sick. But we loved what we got to see!

These Tulum ruins are in a beautiful setting overlooking the turquoise ocean.

Those ruins were great to see but our afternoon in Coba (an hour's drive inland) was much more enjoyable for us because:

• There were far fewer people.
• The sites are set amidst the shaded jungle.
• It included the highest pyramid in the Yucatan Peninsula.
• We were able to rent bikes to ride around the extensive grounds. This was one of our favorite things we did on our whole trip!

The Mayflower

There's no denying that my dad has got to be one of the best ship modelers on this planet earth. His Enoch Train ship model was on display at The Church History Museum for a couple of decades.

I now introduce to you his latest work.

The Mayflower

The Mayflower was the name of the sailing ship that took the people, 

who would become known collectively as the 'Pilgrims', to the New World. 

It took him years of research and crafting pieces by hand to get it right. 

None of the details were bought (how could they be?). 

He meticulously cut, forged, aged, wrapped, painted, tied, waxed, and placed 

EVERY SINGLE tiny impeccable detail on this vessel. 

"Haueing vndertaken, for ye glorie of God, and aduancemente 

of ye christian faith and honour of our king & countrie, a voyage to 

plant ye first colonie in ye Northerne parts of Virginia· doe 

by these presents solemnly & mutualy in ye presence of God, and 

one of another, couenant, & combine our selues togeather into a 

ciuill body politick; for ye our better ordering, & preseruation & 

furtherance of ye ends aforesaid; and by vertue hearof, to enacte, 

constitute, and frame shuch just & equall lawes, ordinances, 

Acts, constitutions, & offices, from time to time, as shall be thought 

most meete & conuenient for ye generall good of ye colonie:  
vnto which we promise all due submission and obedience." 

The Mayflower Compact of 1620

Two Bays, a Lagoon, and a Cenote (Wait, I've Heard This Joke Before...)

I promise. Some day I will stop posting about Mexico. Unfortunately for you, today is not that day.

We went snorkeling and by "we" I mostly mean Rob. I'd snorkeled before but it was 10 years ago and I couldn't seem to get the hang of it. I thought my troubles were from me just being incompetent but when I finally tried Rob's mask at the end of the day I realized it was actually my gear that was incompetent. Oh, well. I still had a great time swimming with my face out of the water. I forgot an extra set of contacts and my glasses at home so I was not going to risk going blind losing a lens in the sea.

Admittedly, the snorkeling conditions weren't that great. It had been windy for a few days and the water was mirky. Also, we didn't hire a guide and maybe we would've seen better stuff if we had. That's okay, we had fun trying anyway.

We visited Pamuul which was a super cool bohemian-type community on the bay. I loved looking at all the different types of dried coral that had washed up on the beach.

Then we snorkeled in Yal-ku Lagoon. It was practically empty and serene. We couldn't hear anything except raindrops on the water and the surrounding jungle's leaves. We swam around from rock outcrop to rock outcrop and enjoyed the peaceful paradise while seeing fish swim around our feet.

We only took video here and it desperately needs to be edited down before it's posted so you'll get to see it later.

Then we headed to Akumal Bay so that Rob could snorkel out to see the sea turtles.

It was Locals Free Day so I enjoyed people watching.

This view ain't bad, either.

That night I ate my favorite meal of the trip...cocinita pibil tacos dipped in what I think was salty black beans (at least that's what I hope it was!). Mmmmm with a capital M!

One of our stops the next day was the cenote Multum-Ha (hills of stone in the water). We walked down a spiral wood staircase 18 meters under the ground until it opened up into a round cavernous room. The water is another 18 meters deep but it's so clear it looks like it's only 2 meters deep.

The water was really cold and took some courage to get in all the way but I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass me by. After just a minute it actually felt so refreshing and I loved how it felt after being hot and muggy for a few days.  There were slack lines secured under the water and it was exhilarating swimming from one to the next in such clear, deep, and cold water.

Only video was taken here, too. So you'll have to just take our word for it.

We did end up bringing a friend to our hotel with us wrapped in our towels. We didn't find him until the next morning while packing. I'm so glad we didn't find him under worse circumstances! I like to call this little video I Didn't Even Think About Scorpions.