BSB, Disney, Beach

Where do I even start? Ahh, yes. The beginning.

Last fall my mom bought tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert in Las Vegas for my little sister's March birthday. My sister was screamin' thrilled! Originally, it was going to be an girls trip but a few weeks before leaving I convinced most of us to turn it into a Disneyland trip as well. After all, we were already going to be halfway there so why not just keep on driving a measly few more hours to Mickey? Sounded reasonable to me!

We stopped for red rock playing in St. George before getting to our hotel in Vegas.




The men stayed with the kids while the women fancied up for our big night out. At least, we thought we were fancy until we saw all the other 7,000 girls really dressed up! I wasn't sure how much I was going to enjoy the concert since I hadn't even thought of listening to BSB since I was maybe 17...but as soon as the music started, so many fun memories of my teenage years flooded back and the ambiance and enthusiasm was so fun and infectious! We sang and danced our hearts out the entire time.

The next morning we played at the park and had a big brunch before the rest of us headed west, making it to Anaheim right at bed time.

Here is Rob and Jake doing a Duo This Not That!

Jake was playing a game with the kids where he had to catch them and put them in jail.

 

Disneyland was, well...the happiest place on earth, of course! As long as you plan well and "just keep swimming" then it's all good. We rode and rode and rode and had so much fun doing it. California Adventure the next day brought more good times.

These next two pictures make me giggle. 

Then it was time for some beach!

That night we all headed to the hotel pool to celebrate the birthdays of my sister and my mom (which both took place during the trip). I grabbed some pies from the bakery next door and we had a POOL PIE PARTY!! Or was it a PIE POOL PARTY!! Either way it was a genius idea and one of those memories that will always be treasured.



Rob and I decided to try our hand at driving straight home the next day rather than stopping in Vegas or St. George as usual. We were a little apprehensive about how the kids would handle it but I have to say that it wasn't bad at all. In fact, I'm sure we will be doing that a lot more often from now on.

THANK YOU, mom, for making this trip possible! It was so great to go with her and my sister's family. We'll have to do it all again someday!

A few weeks ago I was asked to talk in Sacrament Meeting about the topic Honesty with Self.

I was so nervous of crying in front of everyone that I forced myself to keep my focus on the page in front of me rather than on the congregation and I put forth a lot of effort maintaining a steady voice. Therefore, I'm afraid that I wasn't the best orator...but I didn't care. I was just so happy to have gotten through it without a major breakdown!

Studying for this talk (as always, it seems) was a blessing.

This is not a full transcript of my talk but it's mostly intact. I'm not going to take the time to rewrite it for reading, but you'll get the idea.

Honesty with Self

There were a few times the last two weeks where I was this close to backing out but decided that being asked to talk on this subject wasn’t mere coincidence and that I needed to go through with it.

I have to admit that not many of the following words are not mine. I ended up using about 8 different conference talks and gospel doctrine lessons.

The Issue is Truth

How can we be honest with others if we aren't honest with ourselves?? Is it even possible?

Satan is the father of all lies. ALL lies. Not just the big lies. Not just the lies we tell others. But Satan is even the father of the lies that we tell ourselves.

The Savior constantly rebuked those who professed one thing publicly but lived differently in their hearts.

Wars in the inner self that are fought subconsciously, leading to defeats or overreactions, which also hurt us subconsciously.

Subconscious DEFEATS are reflected in our conscious life as a lack of self-confidence, lack of happiness, lack of faith.

Subconscious OVERREACTIONS lead to pride, arrogance, indecency, or cruelty. Our minds can play tricks of reason to impress others, to get gain, to intimidate, or to manipulate. These are the vain results of deceit.

In contrast…

Christ often spoke of blessing us with answers, gifts, faith, and other spiritual gifts if we but have an honest heart.

The only way to find truth is through uncompromising self-education...to see the “real me,” the child of God, in its innocence and potential.

Howard W. Hunter said that when we promote an honest, earnest integrity within ourselves, it will be one of the greatest accomplishments of our lives.

5 Categories of Self-Honesty

So how do we find our true nature? How do we self-educate ourselves to find the level of our self-awareness?

I thought of five categories of self-honesty that we can contemplate on and answer in order to truly know ourselves and thus find the “Real Me,” The Child of God.

1- We Must Be Honest with Ourselves About Our Own Feelings

Repressing and controlling our feelings is a form of self-manipulation that we all, at times, perform in an effort to control others people’s responses to us. We could be seeking responses of approval...or...we could be trying to protect ourselves from their hurt, anger, or displeasure with us.

When we choose to deny our feelings, inevitably our life and relationships with others begin to feel unfulfilling and superficial. This is the price that we pay when we are more committed to avoiding upsets than we are to living and interacting with authenticity and integrity.

To combat this damaging cycle, we must recognize and identify our feelings as they arise. We must let ourselves experience them. By doing so, we will be better able to honor ourselves and others through honest and productive communication and actions.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201112/the-cost-and-benefits-emotional-honesty

2- We Must Be honest with Ourselves About Our Own Desires

“For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts”

(D&C 137:9)

Notice that the Lord combines the two...works and desires. They inevitably go together, no matter how often we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

Neal A. Maxwell said, “Our desires profoundly affect the use of our moral agency...even when we do not really want the consequences of our desires.”

For good or for bad, “What we insistently desire is what we will eventually become because “God granteth unto men according to their desires.”

(Alma 29:4)

We must acknowledge our responsibility for our desires. Lukewarm desires cause apathy, melancholy. Righteous desires need to be relentless. We must know them and love them and allow them to move us forward, closer to Christ.

3- We Must Be Honest with Ourselves About Our Own Weaknesses

Larry R. Lawrence says we have to ask ourselves some difficult questions, like “What weakness needs strengthening?” “What is keeping me from progressing?”

The perfect time to ask ourselves these questions is when we take the sacrament and our hearts are turned toward heaven. This allows the Holy Ghost to gently and reverently tell us what we can do. “The Holy Ghost doesn’t tell us to improve everything at once. If He did, we would become discouraged and give up. The Spirit works with us at our own speed, one step at a time.”

President Uchtdorf reminds us, “There is a difference between the sorrow for sin that leads to repentance and the sorrow that leads to despair.”

We should be persistent but never discouraged at our inability to reach perfection. In our mortal life, we are just meant to lay the foundation for the perfection we will obtain in the next life.

4- We Must Be Honest with Ourselves About Our Own Strengths

Just as the spirit can show us our weaknesses, he can also show us our strengths.

“For there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited.”

D&C 46:11-12

When we begin to examine our strengths and capabilities, we can’t get caught up in comparisons and recognitions. Those aren’t true measures of our gifts.

President Uchtdorf said, “We too easily and too often get caught up in seeking the honors of men rather than serving the Lord with all our might, mind, and strength. Individual recognition is rarely an indication of the value of our service.”  

He also said, “God knows that some of the greatest souls who have ever lived...are the blessed, humble souls who emulate the Savior’s example and spend the days of their lives doing good.”

5- We Must Be Honest with Ourselves About Our Own Testimony

Our testimony is a knowledge of the truth, a knowledge that is felt in our heart even when our mind doesn’t know. Each of us will be tested, tempted, and tried on our testimonies...to find out if we will remain true.

Robert D. Hales said, “Doubts can be resolved when an honest desire to know the truth leads you to exercising moral, spiritual, and mental effort. Only after that can we gain a testimony of the TRUTHFULNESS of the Gospel through the Holy Ghost.”

“Having dropped all pride of your mental stature, having acknowledged before God your confusion, having subjected your egotism, and having surrendered yourself to the teaching of the Holy Spirit, you are ready to begin to learn.”

“Mere passive acceptance of the doctrines will not give the testimony.” You have to fight for a testimony and you have to keep fighting.

We must live and share our testimony. It will assist others who are searching for the truth and wanting to embrace the truth.

Spencer W. Kimball said, “The truth you seek is tied to the person you are. Light, spiritual answers, and heavenly direction are unalterably linked to your own honesty and truth.”

Enduring Truth

Once we reflect and ponder and pray about these truths of ourselves, then what? Do we compare our truths to someone else’s truths? Do we wallow in our shortcomings? Do we give up on our never-ending, unreachable path to perfection? Do we convince ourselves that it’s impossible to be 100% truthful in all things?

F. Enzio Busche

Enlightened by the Spirit of truth, we will then be able to pray for the increased ability to endure truth. In the depth of such a prayer, we may finally be led to that lonesome place where we suddenly see ourselves naked in all soberness. Gone are all the little lies of self-defense. We are shocked to see our many deficiencies.

But that’s good.

This is that place where true repentance is born. This is that place where conversion happens.

As the hymn goes,

More holiness give me,...

More patience in suff’ring

More sorrow for sin,

More faith in my Savior

More tears for his sorrows

More pain at his grief

More meekness in trial

More praise for relief

When we allow ourselves to feel the truth in our feelings, our desires, our weaknesses, our strengths, and our testimony...this is the place where we suddenly see the heavens open... as we feel the full impact of the love of our Heavenly Father, which fills us with indescribable joy.

Truth is knowledge of ourselves as we were, as we are, and as we are to come...The knowledge that we are each a Child of God.

Venting in Colorado

Taken with the Fujifilm X-T10 camera with the 18–55mm lens at 1/30s, f/3.6, and ISO 200 with fujichrome film simulation and converted to monochrome in Lightroom.

Have you ever booked a hotel far from your destination with the express purpose of having to walk long distances back and forth? That is what I did on my last trip to Denver for the SME (Mining) Conference. It was completely worth it.

As I walked past an urban private school this venting caught my eye. It twisted back and forth mostly at right angles with the exception of the two larger pipes. For some reason they bend at their own angle. They want to be unique but they want to do it together. Sometimes that is just how life feels.

Things I Admire About My Children

I have been thinking a lot lately about my children and how much I truly admire their individual qualities.

I can definitely understand why Christ tells us "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."


Nathan:

• Has always been the nicest big brother. He helps his sisters with everything. He is so patient with their demands. He gives them his advice. He teaches them. He makes them smile.

• Loves to have discussions with his mom and dad. He likes to talk about the day, his interests, struggles, politics, anything having to do with science, and the gospel.

• Gets very sensitive about hurting feelings, his own guilt, and disappointing others. It takes very, very little to correct him. 

Madeleine:

• Is gregarious, joyful, smiley, and playful. She reads, acts, sings, dances, bounces, and loves life to the fullest.

• Tries really hard to be inclusive. She is a caretaker. She gives up her own needs for those of others. She is gentle with little children. She is selfless. 

• Craves physical touch and loves to hug, wrestle, hold hands, and anything else that helps her feel important and connected with others.

Caroline:

• Has constantly shifting emotions but tries really hard to be her best self. She works to follow rules and instructions. She tries hard to overcome obstacles and impulses. She never gives up.

• Is soulful. She is learning what feeling the spirit is like and what she can do to feel it more often. She is in tune with how good it feels to have the Holy Ghost with her and bursts into song about it. 

• Smiles a lot. She laughs. She giggles. She loves surprising others and making them laugh. She wants to be in on the joke.

Admittedly, I don't always feel only gratitude and awe at these little ones...but I'm realizing more and more how much I need them.

I need them to teach me. I need them to lead me, guide me, and walk beside me. I need them to help me find the way.

I also need them to love me.

And the amazing thing is that even through all of my seemingly insurmountable motherly imperfections, they do!

What a gift.

Rob's Talk: Emotional/Physical Health and Well Being (and Addiction)

Rob spoke in Sacrament Meeting last Sunday and I like to document our talks. This isn't a full transcript, just notes, but you'll get a good grasp of his thoughts.



"Dad, it feels good to really see right." 

My youngest got a new pair of glasses yesterday after we learned that her vision had deteriorated a little over the last couple years. How pleased she is to correctly resolve the world around her!

A few years ago I injured my back and had quite a bit of pain in it and going down my leg. During that time I experienced much more difficulty being my usual pleasant self. I was edgy, short-tempered, and found that the pain cast a negative shadow on my experiences. 

Prolonged periods of highly demanding projects at work can at times induce enough stress to cast a pale attitude on other aspects of my physical health (lack of exercise and even feeling the stress physically at times).

I share these short experiences to illustrate a point. I've enjoyed a life relatively free of pain and stress. However, I find that even short-lived episodes of pain and stress affect my outlook, relationships, and spirituality. I can only imagine how much chronic pain would affect me. 

The For the Strength of Youth booklet states that we should seek healthy solutions to problems in all aspects of your life. I think healthy solutions include actions that tend to bring balance to our life rather than those that promote drastic actions. Why introduce a new stress as a means to resolve prior stress?

When I have back pain, I could be unwilling to accept my new limitations by taking on a new (intense) exercise and diet program, fester, continue getting annoyed because I can't contribute in the same ways I used to, build up emotional barriers, whine, and re-injure myself due to lack of patience. Or, I could follow the advice of medical professionals, give adequate time for healing, do yoga to strengthen my core and back, and undertake another appropriate exercise program when the time is right. 

When suffering from work-related stress I could micro-manage, refuse to accept help, think that my spouse just doesn't understand, build up emotional barriers, start an extreme organization system, quit my job, stop exercising, gain weight, spend less time with my kids, get less sleep, get sick, etc. Or, I could allow more people to get involved, maintain family, exercise, and sleep needs, take on fewer obligations, learn to say no, confide with Julie, and communicate with others. 

*Do all you can to safeguard your physical and emotional health so that you can fulfill your divine potential as a son or daughter of God.* 

This may include professional medical help and and mental health specialists. 

Addictions harm your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. They damage relationships with family and friends and diminish your feelings of self-worth. They limit your ability to make choices for yourself. In the lightest sense, addictions redirect our time and attention from the most important parts of life. 

Watching sports, gaming, using social media, viewing pornography, abusing prescription drugs, drinking alcohol, or having a Twinkie or Nutella obsession seems pretty innocuous; however, all can be taken to selfish extremes, distorting our view of reality and what is important. 

 

Just like uncorrected vision in the case of Cara's glasses, the affects of addiction take us from reality. It introduces secrecy, distrust, and dishonesty into our most sacred relationships.

Quote from Elder Holland, "If in the days ahead you not only see limitations in those around you, but also find elements in your own life that don’t yet measure up to the messages you have heard this weekend, please don’t be cast down in spirit and don’t give up. 

The gospel, the Church, and these wonderful semiannual gatherings (and Sunday meetings) are intended to give hope and inspiration. They are not intended to discourage you. 

Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference (and Sacrament Meeting) are depressing and unrealistic...that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright future. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations and he wants you to be miserable too. Well, don’t fall for that. 

With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we CAN improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed. 

Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. 

Heaven is cheering you on today and forever."

Alma 53:20-21
"And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all--they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. Yay, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him."

Testimony - gain and maintain physical and emotional health can improve our well- being and spirituality. We can use simple actions, family and friends, professional help, and the atonement to overcome imbalance, addiction, and stress. We get credit for trying.

If you are struggling with any type of addiction, seek help.

Home Decor: Master Bath Update

After 6 weeks, we're finally here. The big bathroom reveal!

Here is the reason. I lived with this for almost 6 years. 

For Christmas, I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than new bathroom tile. 

The week before Christmas I just couldn't wait any longer so Rob and the kids demolished the floor. 

Then Christmas came. Then I got sick. Then came New Year's. 

Then I had to hit pause until I figured out a couple of decorating dilemmas. 

Then Rob was doing a lot of overtime at work. Then Rob got sick. 

So...yeah...SIX weeks later and the tile/paint/hardware update is finally complete! Phew!

This was a bit of a toughy for us. First of all, I've had my heart set on hex floor tile ever since we lived in a vintage apartment downtown 10 years ago. Well, hex tile was way over my budget. I then thought about using patterned tile because I loved the look from our trip in Mexico. 

Turns out patterned tile was also way over my budget. 

Finally, I settled on Octagon and Gray Dot tile. It was in budget and still has a vintage look to it.

Rob has done tile a couple of times before but this mosaic style was rough. The pieces weren't set on a mesh backing but instead were held together with dollops of superglue. Rob and I are both quite particular and NONE of the spacing between the individual tiles were uniform! ARGH. 

Rob worked his hiney off trying to get perfect spacing but it was just impossible because the product wasn't put together well (at all) in the first place. Is that what we get for buying tile within our budget? Luckily the finished look is so pretty that you don't really notice the uneven spacing. 

We ended up over budget anyway just because the mosaic tile took a LOT of grout. 

It also took three different tubs of grout to find the right color. 

WHY don't they sell samples of grout???!! Come on, people!

I hung our Eiffel Tower painting here for now but we will be replacing it with a more modern frame and print after our next trip. I already have an idea of what I want so now I just have to wait to find it.

By now you've noticed my walls are pink. Yep. They are. 

(The ceiling above the toilet is actually white but it doesn't look like it in this pic.)

I don't consider myself very girly and no where else in my house sports a feminine look. 

That's why I thought it would be fun to do something a little different and paint this room a 

vintage-y, dusty/gray pink. Well, remember the decorating dilemmas I mentioned? 

This was one of them because the walls turned out way less 

dusty/gray and way more cotton candy then I had anticipated. 

The funny thing is that I was planning on doing white walls and just the ceiling would be pink. However, at the last minute I decided to try the pink on the walls and loved the color so much 

that I decided to paint all the walls with it and switched the ceiling to white. 

...We were more than halfway done when I realized the color was off...

Depending on your monitor/screen settings, my walls will look more or less pink to you. 

In person, the pink is actually pretty subtle.

I was pretty annoyed because we were already way behind on getting this thing done. 

That's why I just kept on painting, hoping it would turn out ok. It didn't.
I hated it but after about a week it dawned on me that if we just change the lightbulbs
to a cooler temperature then it should make the pink tone down to an acceptable level.
Sure enough, it worked! 

The walls in the toilet room still look a bit pink-ish because it's a small room 

but it's not so bad that I think "PINK!" every time I walk in.

The other decorating dilemma obviously had to do with the orange-y wood vanity. 

I had my heart set on NOT painting or refinishing it. 

I was hoping it would play more "vintage" and less "out-of-place" 

but I'm not sure that's the case. 

I didn't want white (too sterile), I didn't want more gray, and I didn't want something too dark. 

I also wanted to keep a touch of warmth in the room so after weeks of indecision 

I decided to cut us both some slack and leave it for now. 

I'm sure we will change it at some point but that point is not now.

  

'Cuz we are d-o-n-e.

In our "before" bathroom the towel rack was across the room from the shower and so we'd have to remember to grab our towel before we hopped in. If we didn't, we were left yelling for someone to get us one or we had to hop out dripping wet to get one ourselves. 

Super annoying! 

It was obvious that I needed to put hooks right next to the shower. It wasn't obvious that we would end up with the perk of heated towels since they are hanging right above the heater vent. Score!

Everyone says air plants are the best because they are so low-care and last forever. Well, mine don't. I've had many and they keep dying on me no matter where I put them or how I water or not water them. This is my remaining one and we will see how it does here 

with the humidity on the ledge above the shower. 

I used Wayfair for my hardware and was pleasantly surprised at the quality! 

These knobs were a steal but feel very hefty. I will definitely shop there again. 

I added the longer drawer pulls to the upper fake drawers of the vanity 

so we could hang hand towels conveniently. 

Here's another Wayfair purchase. So pretty but I've gotta say... not so easy to clean. 

I really do love the finished bathroom. It's so much lighter and brighter and happier.

I'm really grateful for all the work Rob put into it. 

This one took it out of us a bit so it might be a little while before we start another project.

Snowy Ice Castles

As a member of a photography group, Rob was offered 5 free tickets to the Ice Castles in Midway, Utah in exchange for 5 professional photos of the event. Score!

It was frigid that night. 5 degrees, I think? The kids had a blast and barely noticed the arctic temps. Rob and I were frozen solid but enjoyed watching the kids have fun. 

Verdict: Pretty cool. Kinda fun. Glad we didn't pay to go.  

Here are some pics of us exploring and playing around.

Here are the requested "candid photos of people enjoying themselves" that he shot for the marketing campaign.

(Can I just say that it takes a VERY good photographer to be able to pull off these AMAZINGLY crisp and PERFECTLY exposed pictures of both people and colored ice at night without even using a tripod?!!)